If you look at these pictures of Haylie and think to yourself "Gee whiz, Haylie's bangs sure are short. I wonder if she cut them herself". You would almost be right.

Haylie's hair was getting long, especially her bangs. I was actually pretty pleased about that because I had cut them a couple of months back and they were way too short. I vowed that I would not attempt to cut them myself again.

One day out of the blue, Tom mentioned that he thought Haylie's bangs were becoming shaggy and he wanted to cut them. I told him it wasn't such a good idea. "Cuting bangs is alot harder than you think", I said. To which he replied (and this is a standard Tom reply to most things) "even a monkey-retard could do it". I implored him to please whatever he did, don't cut her bangs.

I thought he was going to respect my request. Then one evening Haylie came running out of her bath with Tom right behind her. "I cut her bangs" he said. "They are a little shorter than I thought they would be, but I think it'll be fine." . Since I had told him that it would not turn out well and he did it anyway there wasn't much left for me to say except "sure". He went ahead and put Haylie to bed with her hair wet. A couple of hours later she woke up. Tom went into get her. I could hear him laughing. He called me in to show me Haylie's bangs. It actually did look like a "monkey-retard" cut it. It looked so ridiculous that I laughed until tears were streaming down my face.

As most bang cutters know when you cut bangs wet they will be much shorter once they have dried. That's what makes it so tricky for a non professional hair cutter to do. And although I did my best to explain that to Tom he just wouldn't listen. He learned the hard way.

The next day he took her into a salon to get her hair cut. His hopes were they would be able to even it out a bit an make it look better. When he took her in he was too embarrassed to tell them he was the one who made her look that way and blamed it on his wife! What!?

I don't think he will be attempting to cut her hair again. By the way he isn't allowed to give me highlights either as the one time I let him do it (to save money) he botched it. Of course it ended up costing way more to have it fixed than it would have to just had it done well the first time. Some lessons are only learned the hard way, even a "monkey-retard" knows that!

Trapped Inside

Exactly how is this suppose to work? I mean, how am I suppose to leave my house with two kids. It's not as easy as it might seem. Most of my readers with cars are probably a bit spoiled having their vehicles parked in a garage connected to their home, or even parked in front of their home (in case their garage is stuffed with too much junk to fit a car inside). My car on the other hand can be parked anywhere in a square mile radius. On a good day, when the "Car God" smiles on me I get a parking spot right in front of my apartment. On other days when I have angered them, I am forced to park several streets away. It's not unusual for me to drive around for 20 minutes looking for a good parking spot only to give up and park far away after all.

So back to my problem. I just haven't figured out how to leave me apartment alone (meaning without Tom's help) with the two kids. I guess I could leave them alone in the apartment, go get the car and drive around to the apartment and then load them in one by one. That options freaks me out. Whenever I think I just might go for that option I get flashes of scenes from movies where a fire breaks out, the fire department is there and the building is in flames and a woman is screaming that her baby is in there! I am afraid that would be me if I left to go get the car. I always wondered what kind of a mother leaves her baby in the apartment alone in the first place. Now I know, the kind that has to park the car a mile away. So, no that's just not a safe option. The other idea I have is loading them into the stroller and walking all of us to the car together. I haven't worked out the details of that one either because that would require me to leave a child outside alone. This is because I can't lift two kids in the double stroller up the stairs onto the street alone. Two kids in a stroller is heavy. I would have to put the stroller up on the street empty and then load them in one by one. I'm worried while I'm putting one kid in that the other may be kidnapped, or hurt. Haylie unattended by the stairs is an accident waiting to happen. She thinks she can step up and down stairs like an adult. Going up the stairs isn't a problem, but going down is. Although we have tried to teach her to scoot down on her bum she refuses and steps down with gusto. I can't say how many times I have caught her just in the nick of time before she plummets to injury on the hard stone pavement.

I've talked to Tom about installing a handicap ramp onto the stairs. That way I could load them up inside and just stroll right up to the street. Only, he doesn't have the tools, and the ramp would have to be pretty steep. I'm not sure how safe it would end up being. I fear I am doomed to stay inside our apartment for the next eight months unless I can figure out a safe way to get us all out of the apartment at the same time. Quite the dilema, isn't it.

The best laid plans

I've been around long enough to know that things rarely go as planned. Why I thought I could "plan" my labor is beyond me. And even though my first labor went completely array I couldn't help myself from making a "birth plan" for the second time around!

My birth plans are pretty specific. Absolutely no drugs, no episiotomy, let me eat and drink during labor, no I.V., let the cord stop pulsating before it's cut...you get the picture. When I wrote my first Birth Plan for Haylie, Tom made me revise it. He told me it sounded condescending and the nurses were going to hate me after reading it. I didn't think it sounded that bad, but on the other hand I tend to think Doctors don't know anything when it comes to natural child birth. Okay, it may have been that bad.

Things with Haylie didn't go as well as I wanted. After 22 hours of labor I had pitocin (I just wouldn't dilate past nine) and morphine. I thought for sure this labor would go much more smoothly. After all it was going to be my second and everyone knows the second one is easier, right? Wrong.

I went into the hospital at three in the morning. I was dilated to a three. I didn't progress despite the regular contractions. They gave me Pitocin. The labor pains became worse and I started feeling that old familiar pain in the back. Oh yes, back labor! How the H could I be having back labor I made sure at every appointment that the baby was not posterior like Haylie had been. For anyone who has endured back labor you understand how it is, if not let me say that back labor is one of the worst feelings on the planet. It is pure agony. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It is that painful. A little while later the nurse came and announced that the baby had somehow turned and was now posterior. I was pretty angry. And after nine hours on Pitocin I was still only dilated to a four. How was this possible? It all started to feel like Deja Vu. It was all going exactly wrong!

Around 12:30 pm my doctor came and broke my water. The pain had been pretty bad up until that point but after that the pain became unbelievably intense. Worse in fact then it had been with my first labor. I have a fairly high pain tolerance. I mean, I went 22 hours without drugs with Haylie, and that was with the back labor. I started talking to Tom about possibly getting some drugs. He told me no. He did the right thing. I had written out a list for him and one of the things on the list was to make sure I didn't get any drugs. He told me to wait just one more hour and then I could make a decision. He then left the room to go call my Mom for a quick update in AZ. As he left my new nurse, Susan, entered the room. The pain was getting worse, I was actually crying through the contractions, and still only dialated to a four! That's when I broke. I asked Susan what my pain management options were. By they time Tom entered the room again I had called in the Anesthesiologist. Tom was baffled. He knows how much a natural birth means to me.

The epidural was the best thing ever. This is coming from someone who is so anti epidural I could form my own anti epidural corporation. Sure I still felt pain, especially during transition, but it was manageable pain. I can honestly say I think I would have died without the epidural intervention. Don't misunderstand me, I still believe in a drug free childbirth. I'm pretty sure my next labor will go as planned. Unless it's posterior again, in which case I'll gladly accept the epidural the moment I walk in.

Within 45 minutes of getting the epidural I ended up giving birth. I only had to push for a few minutes this time. It probably helped that Huck was more than a pound lighter then Haylie had been. I will credit the epidural with the speediness of the delivery. Sometimes you just need to get one despite your best laid birth plan.

Pictures