Monday, October 13, 2008

The best laid plans


I've been around long enough to know that things rarely go as planned. Why I thought I could "plan" my labor is beyond me. And even though my first labor went completely array I couldn't help myself from making a "birth plan" for the second time around!

My birth plans are pretty specific. Absolutely no drugs, no episiotomy, let me eat and drink during labor, no I.V., let the cord stop pulsating before it's cut...you get the picture. When I wrote my first Birth Plan for Haylie, Tom made me revise it. He told me it sounded condescending and the nurses were going to hate me after reading it. I didn't think it sounded that bad, but on the other hand I tend to think Doctors don't know anything when it comes to natural child birth. Okay, it may have been that bad.

Things with Haylie didn't go as well as I wanted. After 22 hours of labor I had pitocin (I just wouldn't dilate past nine) and morphine. I thought for sure this labor would go much more smoothly. After all it was going to be my second and everyone knows the second one is easier, right? Wrong.

I went into the hospital at three in the morning. I was dilated to a three. I didn't progress despite the regular contractions. They gave me Pitocin. The labor pains became worse and I started feeling that old familiar pain in the back. Oh yes, back labor! How the H could I be having back labor I made sure at every appointment that the baby was not posterior like Haylie had been. For anyone who has endured back labor you understand how it is, if not let me say that back labor is one of the worst feelings on the planet. It is pure agony. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It is that painful. A little while later the nurse came and announced that the baby had somehow turned and was now posterior. I was pretty angry. And after nine hours on Pitocin I was still only dilated to a four. How was this possible? It all started to feel like Deja Vu. It was all going exactly wrong!

Around 12:30 pm my doctor came and broke my water. The pain had been pretty bad up until that point but after that the pain became unbelievably intense. Worse in fact then it had been with my first labor. I have a fairly high pain tolerance. I mean, I went 22 hours without drugs with Haylie, and that was with the back labor. I started talking to Tom about possibly getting some drugs. He told me no. He did the right thing. I had written out a list for him and one of the things on the list was to make sure I didn't get any drugs. He told me to wait just one more hour and then I could make a decision. He then left the room to go call my Mom for a quick update in AZ. As he left my new nurse, Susan, entered the room. The pain was getting worse, I was actually crying through the contractions, and still only dialated to a four! That's when I broke. I asked Susan what my pain management options were. By they time Tom entered the room again I had called in the Anesthesiologist. Tom was baffled. He knows how much a natural birth means to me.

The epidural was the best thing ever. This is coming from someone who is so anti epidural I could form my own anti epidural corporation. Sure I still felt pain, especially during transition, but it was manageable pain. I can honestly say I think I would have died without the epidural intervention. Don't misunderstand me, I still believe in a drug free childbirth. I'm pretty sure my next labor will go as planned. Unless it's posterior again, in which case I'll gladly accept the epidural the moment I walk in.

Within 45 minutes of getting the epidural I ended up giving birth. I only had to push for a few minutes this time. It probably helped that Huck was more than a pound lighter then Haylie had been. I will credit the epidural with the speediness of the delivery. Sometimes you just need to get one despite your best laid birth plan.

13 comments:

Dawnell said...

I appreciate your open and honest birth story. Now I don't have to bad mouth you behind your back anymore. I'm just kidding. As someone who also had their perfect birth plan go awry I know how frustrating and disappointing it is. I'm glad that your changes ended up being positive and helping Huck get here faster and also ensuring that you didn't die.

gretchen said...

Hey, the most important thing is that Mom and baby are healthy and well, right? And does ANYONE'S birth ever go exactly according to the birth plan? But for Baby #3, I do highly recommend Hypnobabies. :)

*julie* said...

I'm so glad you didn't die! I once heard a mom try to compare an epidural to the atonement. That might be stretching it a bit. But then again, maybe not...

Ashleigh and Zebb said...

I just have no idea what to even plan. all i say is give me drugs! haha although i've had several friends that have done it both ways...naturally and with drugs and I'm just to big of a baby to do it without the drugs thats all there is to it! haha Huck is stinkin cute though and he's healthy so thats all that really matters, cuteness and healthiness! one of my biggest fears is my kids not being cute...does that sound vain? i don't want them to be loosers in school i want them to be cute and have friens...

Jill said...

I think having an idea of how you would like your delivery to go is a good idea, but you always have to be willing to make changes to that plan, otherwise you will be seriously disappointed and frustrated! If something goes wrong, you have to be flexible. At least that is my opinion. And I think its great if you can do it without an epidural, but I say hey if there is something that can help me relax and enjoy the delivery while still being able to feel the contractions, why not?! I loved every minute of my epidural :)

Jodiane said...

You are not a real birther, unless you do it naturally. you are officially out of the natural birthers club. JK. Good job for having such a detailed plan. You know how i feel about the detailed plan, it is the best thing ever. LOVe the baby name, love your honesty, and as if you didn't know it, you are a very descriptive writer. Good Job JPW

arizonamama said...

He's here, He's healthy and you didn't die. What else matters? Honestly, I've done the birth thing both ways, epidural and natural. The natural time it wasn't a choice, there just wasn't time for any drugs so I can't say that I planned it at all. I think the point is that nothing seems to ever go as planned which is probably a really good thing because without that understanding it's way too easy to be judgmental of others "plans".

Team Caldwell said...

Haven't checked in in a while. O am so glad that I did! Congrats my friend, congrats! I think a little boy would be the best!! Too cute. Ps- whol looks all amazing after a baby?! Only a freak like you! you are fab

Lacey said...

I am so proud of you for getting the epidural sister. Yeah, it takes a lot of balls to have the baby naturally, but it also takes a lot of balls to give into something you weren't planning on. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, do whatever it takes to get you through the freakin nightmare is my official stance on the matter!! And just so you know, elective C-section is really where it's at if you ask me :)

Tammie said...

Traitor!!!! Just kidding, you broke with family tradition now, can you go back?

Carol said...

i have to totally agree with you story. i did it all drug free/totally natural with my first and drug free/totally natural with the twins - but with my second - sheesh, i was in tears, got the dreaded epidural and same thing, as soon as i got it his heart rate came back up, my blood pressure went back down and he was out an hour later. i totally think that sometimes you do have to get one despite the best laid plans.

very cute boy by the way!!!

Team Caldwell said...

check your email (i used the jenny.p... one) for my cell. I would love to talk military with you! Have all kinds of "wisdom" I refused to watch that show, so I don't know. if it's like that they all look like floosey "b"'s to me!

Michelle Bradley said...

WOW! Congrats! I've been out of the loop and haven't checked your blog for a while. He is a beautiful addition to your family. I hope you are doing well. You look beautiful in your pictures!