This is Haylie. She loves books. Loves to destroy them I mean. When I'm not looking she loves to sneak into her bedroom (not really a bedroom, just a hallway in our apartment) and pull all of her books off the self. Sometimes she looks at them, other times she rips out the pages with her amazing 10 month old strength. When she is not destroying books she likes to seek out and eat mouse traps. Lucky for Haylie, when she gets caught in a mouse trap we don't take her outside and cut off her head with the kitchen shears.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Haylie: The Destroyer of Books!
This is Haylie. She loves books. Loves to destroy them I mean. When I'm not looking she loves to sneak into her bedroom (not really a bedroom, just a hallway in our apartment) and pull all of her books off the self. Sometimes she looks at them, other times she rips out the pages with her amazing 10 month old strength. When she is not destroying books she likes to seek out and eat mouse traps. Lucky for Haylie, when she gets caught in a mouse trap we don't take her outside and cut off her head with the kitchen shears.
Hugh Jackman or Ian McShane?!
The other night Tom and I decided to watch the Woody Allen movie "Scoop". It starred Scarlett Johansen and Ian McShane. Do any of you know who Ian McShane is? I did not and it served to make me look the fool.
A few minutes into the movie Scarlett Johnassens romantic interest arrived on screen. Tom said "oh, that's weird, I didn't know Hugh Jackman was in this film." Then I said "that's not Hugh Jackman, Tom, it just looks like him. It's Ian McShane, the guy who played Hugh Jackmans double in "The Prestige"". I gave him a look that conveyed how foolish I thought he was not to recognize the difference in the two similar actors. He then gave me a look that conveyed that he thought I was an idiot. "No, Jenny, Hugh Jackman played both parts in The Prestige".
Still, I didn't believe him. He made me a $20.00 bet that Ian McShane had no part in The Prestige. He set about immediately to prove me wrong. He looked up the info on the internet and sure enough Ian McShane was not in the film and it turns out Hugh Jackman did play both roles. I don't know how I managed to become so confused.
I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I tend to make mistakes like that more often than I want to admit. For instance, when I was in High School I was driving along with my friend for a night out on the town. As stated in a previous post I was none to savvy on the Music front. My friend started singing a song which was going to set the tone for our evening out. "wild thing, you make my heart sing, wild thing..". I stopped her midway through and said "Stacey, you are such an idiot, the words are "Swamp Thing"!". She gave me a look like maybe I was from another planet and explained that despite what I though the original song was Wild Thing. I understood that I had been mislead by an advertisement on T.V. for the old horror movie "Swamp Thing". I guess that happens sometimes, where the notes stay the same but they change the lyrics. How was I to know? The only time I heard the song was when it was advertising Swamp Thing, it made sense to me. I know, that's a very sad story. I am embarrassed for myself.
P.S. Is anyone else mourning the loss of Heath Ledger? He was amazing in "Ten Things I Hate About You". Totally overshadowed his female lead, I can't even remember her name.
A few minutes into the movie Scarlett Johnassens romantic interest arrived on screen. Tom said "oh, that's weird, I didn't know Hugh Jackman was in this film." Then I said "that's not Hugh Jackman, Tom, it just looks like him. It's Ian McShane, the guy who played Hugh Jackmans double in "The Prestige"". I gave him a look that conveyed how foolish I thought he was not to recognize the difference in the two similar actors. He then gave me a look that conveyed that he thought I was an idiot. "No, Jenny, Hugh Jackman played both parts in The Prestige".
Still, I didn't believe him. He made me a $20.00 bet that Ian McShane had no part in The Prestige. He set about immediately to prove me wrong. He looked up the info on the internet and sure enough Ian McShane was not in the film and it turns out Hugh Jackman did play both roles. I don't know how I managed to become so confused.
I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I tend to make mistakes like that more often than I want to admit. For instance, when I was in High School I was driving along with my friend for a night out on the town. As stated in a previous post I was none to savvy on the Music front. My friend started singing a song which was going to set the tone for our evening out. "wild thing, you make my heart sing, wild thing..". I stopped her midway through and said "Stacey, you are such an idiot, the words are "Swamp Thing"!". She gave me a look like maybe I was from another planet and explained that despite what I though the original song was Wild Thing. I understood that I had been mislead by an advertisement on T.V. for the old horror movie "Swamp Thing". I guess that happens sometimes, where the notes stay the same but they change the lyrics. How was I to know? The only time I heard the song was when it was advertising Swamp Thing, it made sense to me. I know, that's a very sad story. I am embarrassed for myself.
P.S. Is anyone else mourning the loss of Heath Ledger? He was amazing in "Ten Things I Hate About You". Totally overshadowed his female lead, I can't even remember her name.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Target, Chess, and Twilight
Tom came home at a decent hour from school today. That meant one thing, we were going to go to Target. Before you judge me and think I am totally lame to take a family outing to Target please understand a few things.
#1. We do not own a car..we walk everywhere. This means even when I was nine months pregnant I still had to walk to the grocery store and lug them all home. Once when I was about eight months pregnant I was walking home from the grocery store. My homeless cart (that's what I call the wheely cart) was laden with groceries. As I was crossing the street my homeless cart hit a pot hole and sent my cart flying, and the groceries. They were all over the street. I had to bend over and pick everything up as the light turned green and cars started speeding by me. No one even slowed down for the pregnant lady in the middle of the street picking up her groceries. It was sad and pathetic and basically sums up everything there is to say about Jersey City.
#2 There are very few places with in walking distance. There is the Mall, Target, and...oh yeah, that's it. The Mall is totally played out for us. Target, not so much, it's about a quarter of a mile farther than the Mall so we go there a lot less. Target is still a Novelty for us.
#3. It's cold outside, and I don't have a hat or mittens. I had a hat last year, but I put it through the wash and it's completely misshappen and I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it. It makes me look like I should be pushing the aforementioned "Homeless Cart". I also had mittens. In fact I just bought some at the beginning of the season. They were a bright, cheery pink. They were lovely. I left them on the train. I guess I was overly excited about being on a date with my husband. We never go on dates. Finding a babysitter is more work then getting into the Ivy League and just as expensive.
There we are at Target. Walking down the isles, imagining what it would be like to own more than two matching dishes let alone buy new ones for every holiday like Target is always displaying. I stroll down the toy aisle with Haylie and show her all of the cool toys that I am not going to buy for her. I make my way over to the media section while Tom browses the video game aisle. Tom is the lucky one. He has a 50 dollar gift card. He won it during our New Years Game Marathon. He beat me fair and square at Chess. Why I offered Chess as an option for our Game Tournament I'll never know. I am terrible at Chess. I can't think far enough ahead to really succeed. Just to illustrate how bad I am at Chess I'm going to tell a short story.
I use to teach at a High School for delinquent kids in Tempe, AZ. Most of the kids had been kicked out of their regular high school and my class room was their last hope. In the beginning I tried to help the kids in my classroom. The pregnant girls, the boys with home arrest devices attached at the ankle, the girl who dressed inappropriately, and the kids that were never going to succeed where all in my class. One day I challenged one of my students, Marco, to a Chess game. I figured I would win easily. I figured it was a sure thing since he should have graduated the previous year and still had no hopes of graduating the year I was his teacher. Marco and I gathered the other students around the table. I blinked and it was over. Marco, the delinquent, who worked at a discount grocery store beat me in just three moves, check mated me in just three moves. I hung my head in shame and walked back to my desk. They didn't respect me before the game and they sure as H didn't respect me after my devastating loss to Marco. Later that year I was called into the Principals office because some of my students had come to him saying "Miss Pear doesn't give a S***t about us". When confronted with the statement I didn't even bother to deny it. I just shrugged my shoulders and said they were correct. I was quickly demoted to the night teacher and given a teaching partner. It's okay thought, I still received the same pay but had to do even less. It worked out for the best.
As Tom 50.00 gift card was burning a hole in his pocket I was searching for something to occupy my lonely hours at home while Tom is at school. That's when I found myself reaching for something scandalous, something I am completely against, something I have balked out for months, something that I'm almost ashamed to admit to. I reached for "New Moon". Stephanie Meyers sequel to Twilight. I was disgusted with myself. Of all the books in all the world that is the one I hate the most. I read Twilight when it first became the "it" book to read. I couldn't figure out why so many people liked it. It was horribly written, the plot was thin, and Bella was a disaster. Never have I met a character I cared less for then Bella. I found her romance with the vampire shallow and mediocre at best. I would put it just a notch below the trashy romance novels people buy at the grocery store. Now, all of those Twilight fans out there, please don't get offended by my distaste for Stephanie Meyers novels, there are certainly books that I love that you may not, and that's okay. I put the book back on the shelf and backed away, and bought "The Giver" instead. We walked out into the night, Tom with his StarWars game and I with my book, and Haylie empty handed and braved the wind and the rain for the journey home.
#1. We do not own a car..we walk everywhere. This means even when I was nine months pregnant I still had to walk to the grocery store and lug them all home. Once when I was about eight months pregnant I was walking home from the grocery store. My homeless cart (that's what I call the wheely cart) was laden with groceries. As I was crossing the street my homeless cart hit a pot hole and sent my cart flying, and the groceries. They were all over the street. I had to bend over and pick everything up as the light turned green and cars started speeding by me. No one even slowed down for the pregnant lady in the middle of the street picking up her groceries. It was sad and pathetic and basically sums up everything there is to say about Jersey City.
#2 There are very few places with in walking distance. There is the Mall, Target, and...oh yeah, that's it. The Mall is totally played out for us. Target, not so much, it's about a quarter of a mile farther than the Mall so we go there a lot less. Target is still a Novelty for us.
#3. It's cold outside, and I don't have a hat or mittens. I had a hat last year, but I put it through the wash and it's completely misshappen and I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it. It makes me look like I should be pushing the aforementioned "Homeless Cart". I also had mittens. In fact I just bought some at the beginning of the season. They were a bright, cheery pink. They were lovely. I left them on the train. I guess I was overly excited about being on a date with my husband. We never go on dates. Finding a babysitter is more work then getting into the Ivy League and just as expensive.
There we are at Target. Walking down the isles, imagining what it would be like to own more than two matching dishes let alone buy new ones for every holiday like Target is always displaying. I stroll down the toy aisle with Haylie and show her all of the cool toys that I am not going to buy for her. I make my way over to the media section while Tom browses the video game aisle. Tom is the lucky one. He has a 50 dollar gift card. He won it during our New Years Game Marathon. He beat me fair and square at Chess. Why I offered Chess as an option for our Game Tournament I'll never know. I am terrible at Chess. I can't think far enough ahead to really succeed. Just to illustrate how bad I am at Chess I'm going to tell a short story.
I use to teach at a High School for delinquent kids in Tempe, AZ. Most of the kids had been kicked out of their regular high school and my class room was their last hope. In the beginning I tried to help the kids in my classroom. The pregnant girls, the boys with home arrest devices attached at the ankle, the girl who dressed inappropriately, and the kids that were never going to succeed where all in my class. One day I challenged one of my students, Marco, to a Chess game. I figured I would win easily. I figured it was a sure thing since he should have graduated the previous year and still had no hopes of graduating the year I was his teacher. Marco and I gathered the other students around the table. I blinked and it was over. Marco, the delinquent, who worked at a discount grocery store beat me in just three moves, check mated me in just three moves. I hung my head in shame and walked back to my desk. They didn't respect me before the game and they sure as H didn't respect me after my devastating loss to Marco. Later that year I was called into the Principals office because some of my students had come to him saying "Miss Pear doesn't give a S***t about us". When confronted with the statement I didn't even bother to deny it. I just shrugged my shoulders and said they were correct. I was quickly demoted to the night teacher and given a teaching partner. It's okay thought, I still received the same pay but had to do even less. It worked out for the best.
As Tom 50.00 gift card was burning a hole in his pocket I was searching for something to occupy my lonely hours at home while Tom is at school. That's when I found myself reaching for something scandalous, something I am completely against, something I have balked out for months, something that I'm almost ashamed to admit to. I reached for "New Moon". Stephanie Meyers sequel to Twilight. I was disgusted with myself. Of all the books in all the world that is the one I hate the most. I read Twilight when it first became the "it" book to read. I couldn't figure out why so many people liked it. It was horribly written, the plot was thin, and Bella was a disaster. Never have I met a character I cared less for then Bella. I found her romance with the vampire shallow and mediocre at best. I would put it just a notch below the trashy romance novels people buy at the grocery store. Now, all of those Twilight fans out there, please don't get offended by my distaste for Stephanie Meyers novels, there are certainly books that I love that you may not, and that's okay. I put the book back on the shelf and backed away, and bought "The Giver" instead. We walked out into the night, Tom with his StarWars game and I with my book, and Haylie empty handed and braved the wind and the rain for the journey home.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Top 5 songs of the 90's And a Few Other Things to do With Music
Last night was a late night..I mean really late, like going to bed at 3 am late. That's because we tuned into VH1's Top 100 songs of the 90's countdown. We came in about half way, and since Tom has no control when it's a VH1 countdown special, we watched the whole thing all the way to number one.
This was an interesting program, especially for me. You see, dear readers, until I was in the sixth grade I didn't know there was such thing as FM radio or Rock Bands. I was led to believe there was only AM talk radio or rock and roll records from the 50's and early 60's. The Beach Boys were my favorite band, followed closely by The Carpenters. That Karen sang like an angel! Little by little I figured out how wide open the music world was by listening to Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Boy could they sing! I remember the first time I heard Paula Abdul. I was on the Synchronized swimming team at Kino pool and we preformed a routine to her song "Forever Your Girl". I fell in love! I don't think Paula had any songs in the countdown.
Tom claims he bought the single to the song "Shine". "Oh, was it a good CD?" I asked. He laughed and told me it wasn't the CD, but the tape. Oh how that brought me back. I remembered my first tape...I was going to Smitty's (the local all purpose Target of Mesa) and was going to buy myself a Beach Boys tape. Yes, I am totally lame, I know, but I really wanted their California Girls song for myself so I wouldn't have to beg my friend to let me listen to her album on her Holly Hobby record player! They didn't have the tape I wanted so I decided to get the "Pet Shop Boys" tape instead. Even though I'd never heard of the group I figured a group with a sweet name like that had to sing totally cute songs! My Mom wouldn't let me get the tape of a group she didn't know. I was sad, but quickly realized I'd rather have Tiffany's new tape, Hold an Old Friends Hand, so I got that instead.
Does any one remember how cool it was to have one of those state of the art tape decks in your car. You know the ones that you can fast forward, or rewind but it will automatically stop when it comes to a new song. That was great! No more coming in half way through my favorite Eagles song. Oh no, from there on out we started at the beginning of the song. That was some amazing technology. My family suburban "Polly Pollution" had a tape deck like that. It was pure bliss until the said Eagles tape become permanently wedged in the tape player. From there on out it was "Tequila Sunrise" everyday until my littlest brother Dallin took over the vehicle and spray painted a skull and cross bones on the tailgate and upgrades all of us to the a CD player.
When my sister Kori and I were in high school CD's had just started to become available. She and I went to the store one day to buy a Reba album. Instead of getting the CD she opted for the tape. I asked her why didn't she start getting CD's instead. She told me, and I quote "CD's are a fad, they won't last". It was probably a year or so later that she relented and admitted that CD's were indeed here to stay!
Now Here it is, the moment you have all been waiting for...the top five songs of the 90's!!!
#5 Madonna "Vogue"- I didn't think that was even close to being as good as the song she wrote for "League of Their Own", "This Use To be Our Playground". That is a great song, heartfelt, real, and tender, like you've never seen Madonna before, until she adopted that kid from Africa.
#4 Whitney Houston "I Will Always Love You". Yes, the song from the Kevin Costner film. There is no way on earth that song deserves to be in the top 5! She is totally lame in every way, including that song she ripped off from Dolly Parton!
#3 Back Street Boys "I Want It That Way"- I guess I can agree with this one. Not only do they have some amazing arm dancing ( I think I might have spotted "spirit fingers") it does define a whole generation of teenie boppers. Plus you know when you hear it on the radio you don't change the station, you sing along and muse "what is 'His' way?"
#2 U2 "One"- I've heard this song is about a Mormon girl Bono wanted to marry. She wouldn't marry him unless it was in the Temple. Proof of the truth of this rumor lies in the lyrics "love is a temple, Love, the higher law". Yeah, sounds like the Temple to me. (Are Mormons really this lame that we have to do this to all celebrities...Steve Martin is not a Mormon, neither is Prince..Paul Walker is!)
#1 Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit"- I didn't know who this band was until after this guy died. This song disgusts me..remember girls of the 90's, the deodorant brand called "Teen Spirit"? I do, and that's all I can think about when I hear that song....smelly, berry scented, sweaty under arms. That's gross.
I wonder..who is it exactly that gave this program the authority to proclaim the top 100 songs of the 90's? Most of my favorites weren't even included. Maybe that means I'm not nearly as cool as I hoped I was. That's okay, I'd rather hear "California Girls" then a Marky Mark song any day.
P.S. Tom just informed me this was voted on by the people..people who have nothing else to do except listen to old Vanilla Ice tracks all day.
This was an interesting program, especially for me. You see, dear readers, until I was in the sixth grade I didn't know there was such thing as FM radio or Rock Bands. I was led to believe there was only AM talk radio or rock and roll records from the 50's and early 60's. The Beach Boys were my favorite band, followed closely by The Carpenters. That Karen sang like an angel! Little by little I figured out how wide open the music world was by listening to Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Boy could they sing! I remember the first time I heard Paula Abdul. I was on the Synchronized swimming team at Kino pool and we preformed a routine to her song "Forever Your Girl". I fell in love! I don't think Paula had any songs in the countdown.
Tom claims he bought the single to the song "Shine". "Oh, was it a good CD?" I asked. He laughed and told me it wasn't the CD, but the tape. Oh how that brought me back. I remembered my first tape...I was going to Smitty's (the local all purpose Target of Mesa) and was going to buy myself a Beach Boys tape. Yes, I am totally lame, I know, but I really wanted their California Girls song for myself so I wouldn't have to beg my friend to let me listen to her album on her Holly Hobby record player! They didn't have the tape I wanted so I decided to get the "Pet Shop Boys" tape instead. Even though I'd never heard of the group I figured a group with a sweet name like that had to sing totally cute songs! My Mom wouldn't let me get the tape of a group she didn't know. I was sad, but quickly realized I'd rather have Tiffany's new tape, Hold an Old Friends Hand, so I got that instead.
Does any one remember how cool it was to have one of those state of the art tape decks in your car. You know the ones that you can fast forward, or rewind but it will automatically stop when it comes to a new song. That was great! No more coming in half way through my favorite Eagles song. Oh no, from there on out we started at the beginning of the song. That was some amazing technology. My family suburban "Polly Pollution" had a tape deck like that. It was pure bliss until the said Eagles tape become permanently wedged in the tape player. From there on out it was "Tequila Sunrise" everyday until my littlest brother Dallin took over the vehicle and spray painted a skull and cross bones on the tailgate and upgrades all of us to the a CD player.
When my sister Kori and I were in high school CD's had just started to become available. She and I went to the store one day to buy a Reba album. Instead of getting the CD she opted for the tape. I asked her why didn't she start getting CD's instead. She told me, and I quote "CD's are a fad, they won't last". It was probably a year or so later that she relented and admitted that CD's were indeed here to stay!
Now Here it is, the moment you have all been waiting for...the top five songs of the 90's!!!
#5 Madonna "Vogue"- I didn't think that was even close to being as good as the song she wrote for "League of Their Own", "This Use To be Our Playground". That is a great song, heartfelt, real, and tender, like you've never seen Madonna before, until she adopted that kid from Africa.
#4 Whitney Houston "I Will Always Love You". Yes, the song from the Kevin Costner film. There is no way on earth that song deserves to be in the top 5! She is totally lame in every way, including that song she ripped off from Dolly Parton!
#3 Back Street Boys "I Want It That Way"- I guess I can agree with this one. Not only do they have some amazing arm dancing ( I think I might have spotted "spirit fingers") it does define a whole generation of teenie boppers. Plus you know when you hear it on the radio you don't change the station, you sing along and muse "what is 'His' way?"
#2 U2 "One"- I've heard this song is about a Mormon girl Bono wanted to marry. She wouldn't marry him unless it was in the Temple. Proof of the truth of this rumor lies in the lyrics "love is a temple, Love, the higher law". Yeah, sounds like the Temple to me. (Are Mormons really this lame that we have to do this to all celebrities...Steve Martin is not a Mormon, neither is Prince..Paul Walker is!)
#1 Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit"- I didn't know who this band was until after this guy died. This song disgusts me..remember girls of the 90's, the deodorant brand called "Teen Spirit"? I do, and that's all I can think about when I hear that song....smelly, berry scented, sweaty under arms. That's gross.
I wonder..who is it exactly that gave this program the authority to proclaim the top 100 songs of the 90's? Most of my favorites weren't even included. Maybe that means I'm not nearly as cool as I hoped I was. That's okay, I'd rather hear "California Girls" then a Marky Mark song any day.
P.S. Tom just informed me this was voted on by the people..people who have nothing else to do except listen to old Vanilla Ice tracks all day.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Poopcon 4 and an Elevator full of Angry People
Tom I decided it would be a good day to go visit the Museum of Natural History. I knew we would be taking pictures so I decided to dress Haylie in a cute new outfit we just bought her. It's the cutest little outfit. Sweet pink camo cargo's and a pink sweater. I decided to start dressing in her in lots of pink because people on the subway keep mistaking her for a boy! That has nothing to do with the story, just know she was looking cute as a button and I was excited to get some photo's outside of our apartment.Once we arrived at the museum (after carrying Haylie's large stroller up several flights of stairs) we got out a map and decided to devise a strategy. We headed over to the elevators to start on the 4th floor where the dinosaurs exhibit is located. As we were waiting for the elevators we took Haylie out of her stroller so she could see everything around us. A few seconds later Tom looked at me and asked if there was a changing table in the womens room. He then showed me the arm of his sweater, which was soaked through with poo. Yes, folks she had managed to produce a "Poopcon 4" (Think Defcon 4=massive, out of this world diaper emergency) that was all over her pants, her shirt, and Tom! I took her into the ladies room where I immediately set to work changing Haylie's diaper. The buckle on the changing table was broken so with one hand I hold Haylie down on the table and with the other hand search franticly in the diaper bag for the diaper and wipes. I find them just in time for Haylie to start screaming at the top of her lungs and begin thrashing about trying to get off the table. I manage to get her pants off and wipe her down, it's all over her, and it takes a whole package of the travel size wipes to get her kind of clean. I had the other diaper right under her, ready to put it on, I roll up her dirty diaper and I glance down at Haylie just in time to see a waterfall of urine pouring out of her. For some reason a little bit even sprayed up onto my clothes, and of course not a bit of the pee gets on the diaper all laid out ready to be put on. It all flows down her legs and onto the changing table where it turns into a yellow lake, probably half an inch deep! Keep in mind her diaper reeks, and she is still screaming and people are walking past me into the stalls wondering why my baby is screaming. I was slightly embarrassed, hoping it would be over soon, and secretly thinking it was all kind of funny! Like I said earlier, I had used up ALL of the baby wipes with the POOPCON 4 so I didn't have any left so I had to use the paper towels in the dispenser to wipe her down. In case you didn't know they aren't at all absorbent so it just stuck to her bum in patches. I was able to pull out a new diaper (the other one sustained urine damage from the newly formed Lake Haylie) and get it on her. It's at this moment when I remember ever so clearly a firm prompting I had just a few minutes before we left the apartment. The prompting came several times in fact, "take a change of clothes". Did I heed this prompting? No, I did not. Since she had poo all over her shirt, and pants (only her socks and sweater managed to survive), and I had failed to bring an extra change of clothing she had to be white trash and wear just her diaper and her pink sweater the rest of the day. We wrapped her blanket around her to try and cover her up (as you can see in the pictures). I think I was more disappointed than she was, I was really hoping to get some cute pictures of her all dressed up. Instead I have a whole bunch of pictures where it looks like my baby is naked, in the winter, at the museum. When I left the bathroom to find Tom he managed to break into a utility closet and found a plastic bag to store the wreckage. Tom had also cleaned his sweater up so he didn't smell, in case you were wondering. Tom and I had a pretty good laugh about everything once we had stored all the clothes away in newly acquired garbage bag.
In case you think the adventure was over there, think again. Our second adventure begins at the elevators. For some reason massive amounts of able bodied people decided that they should take up the limited space in the elevator. After waiting for close to 15 minuets we finally found room in one of the elevators. We hopped on grateful for a spot. Once we arrived at the next level tons of people started pouring into the elevator. There wasn't nearly enough room for everyone, with all the little kids inside, but those damn foreigners just kept pushing (maybe where they come from it's okay to smash children and pregnant women so they can't breath) in until I yelled at everyone that no one else was allowed in. Everyone in the elevator was grateful except those that had pushed there way on. As the doors were closing another man, who I will call Midwest Man was really angry about all the people and began yelling at some man who was standing in front of him saying "there are kids in here, and you're smashing into them". The other man who I will call Yellow Jacket, yelled back that he didn't feel like he was pushing into anyone. This is where it gets exciting, Midwest Man says "Oh yeah? Can you feel this?!" and goes ahead and shoves Yellow Jacket! I was surprised but I was ready to jump in and defend Midwest Mans actions, that's what you get for pushing into little kids moron! Yellow Jacket who had just been shoved exited eagerly at the next level. Once he was gone Midwest Man apologized to the rest of us for being so rude. Hey, I don't blame you man.
I'm not going to go into the details of Tom yelling at the entire elevator of people. The same elevator full of people that had just witnessed the shoving match. Needless to say if you are on an elevator, or train with Tom and you don't get off to let those at the back of the train/elevator off, you will wish you had!
After all the Poopcon 4 and elevator excitement the rest of the Museum didn't seem nearly as exciting...except for the part when we tried to find the exit, but that's a story for another day!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Who's in your House?
Tom is on Holiday for the next two weeks. Ask me how we've spent the first few days of his vacation. Well, besides a fair amount of shopping we've spent the remaining time watching Harry Potter DVD's and trying to figure out which "House" we would be in. I know everyone thinks they're a Gryffindor because their brave and they always win the "House Cup", yadda, yadda, yadda. I've always considered myself either a Ravenclaw or a Gryffi, but this week Tom and I set out to prove where we really belong. We have taken no less than 10 tests promising to tell us which house we fit into. One test even claims it was written by Psychologists
and was a whopping 122 questions! That said let me preface by saying that I think the worst house to be in is Huffelpuff. All of the other houses boast specific qualities...except Huffelpuff. They'll take anybody, which doesn't ever make a person feel really special.
After the aforementioned tests it turns out I'm Slytherin. I would try and say this may be a mistake, but deep in my heart I know it's true. After coming to grips with who I really am I'm proud to be a Slytherin. They aren't all evil you know! Snape, my favorite Harry Potter character was Slytherin, along with many other talent wizards. Slytherins are so misunderstood, it's a shame! We get a bad rap for our ambition but are we really so different than the always popular Gryffindors?
Now as upset as I was at being in Slytherin, Tom was even more disappointed because it turns out he's totally a Huffelpuff! I didn't think anyone I knew really belonged in Huffelpuff, except for my little sister Kenzie, but lo and behold I freaking married one. If I had known he was Huffelpuff I might have thought differently about him. Which kind of just proves that I really do belong in Slytherin.
Tom didn't want to accept who he really was so he took test after test. Where as my test results showed Slytherin time and again, Tom's results were varied. He ended up being in Ravenclaw. He wasn't disappointed with that since that means he can share a common room with Cho Chang...didn't you know he's always had a thing for Asian girls? Why he married a blond, green eyed girl I'll never know...except maybe I do. Total Slytherin, I manipulated him into marrying me like only a true Slytherin could do. Kudos to me for landing a smart and witty Ravenclaw!
and was a whopping 122 questions! That said let me preface by saying that I think the worst house to be in is Huffelpuff. All of the other houses boast specific qualities...except Huffelpuff. They'll take anybody, which doesn't ever make a person feel really special.
After the aforementioned tests it turns out I'm Slytherin. I would try and say this may be a mistake, but deep in my heart I know it's true. After coming to grips with who I really am I'm proud to be a Slytherin. They aren't all evil you know! Snape, my favorite Harry Potter character was Slytherin, along with many other talent wizards. Slytherins are so misunderstood, it's a shame! We get a bad rap for our ambition but are we really so different than the always popular Gryffindors?
Now as upset as I was at being in Slytherin, Tom was even more disappointed because it turns out he's totally a Huffelpuff! I didn't think anyone I knew really belonged in Huffelpuff, except for my little sister Kenzie, but lo and behold I freaking married one. If I had known he was Huffelpuff I might have thought differently about him. Which kind of just proves that I really do belong in Slytherin.
Tom didn't want to accept who he really was so he took test after test. Where as my test results showed Slytherin time and again, Tom's results were varied. He ended up being in Ravenclaw. He wasn't disappointed with that since that means he can share a common room with Cho Chang...didn't you know he's always had a thing for Asian girls? Why he married a blond, green eyed girl I'll never know...except maybe I do. Total Slytherin, I manipulated him into marrying me like only a true Slytherin could do. Kudos to me for landing a smart and witty Ravenclaw!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Into the City
Haylie and I are extremely cultured. Since she is a city babe she gets to do things that other eight month olds only dream about. For instance this last week she attended her first ballet performance. The NYC Theater Ballet did a special showing of The Nutcracker at the World Financial Center in Manhattan. Haylie and I attended along with Beckett and Dawnell and a host of other Manhattan babies and Nannies! It was so much fun to see the costumes and the dancing. Haylie enjoyed it too. We had prime seats on the steps of hall so she was able to watch the ballet and crawl on Beckett during the boring parts!Later that same week Haylie accompanied me to midtown to meet up with Jill Anderson Lloyd. This was very exciting since it's been months since I've seen any AZ friends. Jill was a breath of fresh AZ/Utah air. She brought some much needed news a.k.a gossip. Jill is so fun to hang out with, she is hilarious. Haylie also enjoyed the day out while munching on Cheerios. The guy at the restaurant had to come by our table no less than three times to sweep up her Cheerio droppings! I tried to tell her it was bad manners to drop her food on the floor, but she wouldn't listen!
As if two trips into the city wasn't enough, I packed up Haylie again on Saturday morning to go meet 14 of my book club friends at Sarabeth's (a restaurant) for Brunch. Yes, I am fancy..me and my Manhattan girlfriends have brunch, are you all a little bit envious right now? I ordered the Lemon Ricotta pancakes, delicious! After Brunch we headed over to Jill's apartment to where we reveled our secret Santa gifts! We also did a children's Christmas book exchange. I love childrens Christmas books. I highly recommend the book "Osbert". It's about a little boy who asks for and gets a real penguin for Christmas and then ends up regretting it. It's so funny! Go buy it now! You won't be sorry! The Christmas party was great, Jill did a wonderful job with the decorations. Haylie loved chilling with Jill's pet rabbit, I think she might want one of her own for Christmas!
I think next week I will take her to the Natural History Museum and Rockefeller Center, and maybe the Met.. look forward to more Haylie in the City!
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